God is in Arkansas...

what is god doing? where is he moving? what is he up to?? where does he need me right now? because that is where i want to be.. last week i listened to a podcast from brian houston and he talked about how the best 'footballers' (soccer players) on the field are always the ones who know how to move themselves to the place where the ball is going.. the place where someone needs to be ready and waiting.. the best players have their head in the game and watch closely to know where their presence is going to be the most effective... those are the players that get the most done for their team.. and the ones who get to play the most.. the same goes for the kingdom of God.. it's all about being in the right place at the right time..

my life has taken an interesting turn as of late... the door to Australia has been indefinitely shut.. and who knows if God will open it back up.. i hope he does.. but i do know that i'm not going to move a muscle unless he says to.. in the meantime i've been forced to ask God some pretty hard questions.. and he's been giving me some seriously helpful answers.. and the past couple of months have been nothing short of an awakening for me.. God is waking up things inside of me that i didn't know were sleeping.. and he is revealing himself to me in ways that i didn't realize my eyes were blind to.. he's been humbling me a lot.. he's shown me that while i had my sights set on australia.. i wasn't looking at the harvest here in arkansas... the lost and hurting people that i talk to day in and day out... i didn't give them much of my time because i had the mindset that i'd be leaving soon... but i was wrong... and lately the Lord has been showing me that i need to lift up my eyes.. the harvest is h.e.r.e... right now this second...

mainly i've just been learning that i need to ask God what he's doing.. what he's thinking.. what he needs me to do.. because, sure, i have grandioso dreams and God is behind me 100% on those... but he values conservative-bible-belt-Arkansas just as much as he values third world countries.. and godless cities in Europe.. and underground churches in china (aka future destinations for callie bezet).. and even though God has given me a heart for places like these throughout the globe.. i haven't given God much of a chance to cause my heart to break for the people in my own town.. i've been too busy thinking that i was meant for something better than that... i can be so arrogant. that is a skewed perception of my calling..

it's not that i don't have a heart for my city.. it's just that i have placed more value on loving the people i need a passport to see.. like that is somehow more noble or important to God.. and while that might be more admirable in the eyes of men.. God just wants a willing heart.. those willing are the ones he can use the most.. the ones who are content to serve anywhere.. even at home..

so for now.. i am committed to becoming this kind of a person.. the kind content to serve anywhere.. even if it means the same place i've been serving for the past 8 years... i am in no way too good for that.. if we're going to be honest.. i'm not good enough.. i am only capable of such a task through Jesus who shows me grace.. and maybe if i get that down.. he can trust me to get on an airplane and do the big things in my heart... at least i think that's how it works.. God shows himself faithful to the faithful... so i better be faithful.. and value what i have in my hand.

God showed me this verse yesterday:

"also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which i have carried you into exile . Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper."

(not that i am in exile in my hometown, but still) if my city prospers.. i too will prosper. good to know. i've got to be faithful with what the Lord has already given me.. and trust that i am in the right place at the right time.. there is a time for everything.. if you ever begin to doubt the significance of timing read ecclesiastes 3:1-8... timing. timing. timing... everything hinges on timing.. in the meantime.. God is giving me more of a heart for the people at home.. he is giving me a heart for His house... the church.. local first. then global.

i love how God can make old things new... a fresh revelation from God can change even the most mundane things into a new adventure.. there is always more to God.. there is always a side i haven't seen before... just when i think i know what he's doing in me or where he is sending me.. he proves that he is up to something new that my mind didn't in any way conceive... and he is growing me and stretching me.. and sometimes the growing hurts... but he is more interested in my character than my comfort... which can be confusing at times.. but he always proves that he is working for the good... i don't think i've ever been more clueless about someone.. yet more in love with Him at the same time.. his thoughts never cease to be higher than mine... and his ways are better... he makes ordinary things extrodenarily beautiful.. only He could do that..