hey friends.. i need some encouragement.. so anybody who reads this, feel free to leave thoughts...
okay, so... as a lot of you already know.. australia isn't really working out the way it was supposed to.. these days, a loan is a very complicated thing to acquire.. (or at least it is in my case).. and if i was going to go to australia.. i would have needed to take out a pretty hefty loan to support myself (jobless) in sydney for 11 months.. and sparing you the details.. things just werent lining up.. so the australian dream is on hold (unless 15,000 dollars falls on my head before january 13) until july.. im praying that i have the money to go by then..
but with all that said... just being honest.. my heart is BROKEN.. i wanted to go THIS month.. its been a reality in my mind for a while now.. january=australia.. and now that i have to wait.. i literally just have an ache in my chest.. i'm not angry or mad or anything like that... just hurting.. and what's worse, is i know the right answers to this.. i know that God's timing is better than my timing.. and that i can trust that His ways are higher than mine.. and that i can just be confident that he is up to something better.. and believe me when i say that i know all that stuff is true.. and i am VERY grateful for that truth.. and i am truly excited to see what God has in store for the future.. i can still face tomorrow with a smile.. but my problem is this broken heart that i have today.. i can't help it... i'm not used to the idea of waiting on australia for 7 more months.. when i really thought my waiting was over... and everytime i have to explain to someone else that i'm probably not going to get to go to sydney this month.. theres like this little twinge in my chest... i know that might seem dramatic.. but its the truth..
so.. my question is this.. since i know that God's timing is the most important thing here.. how do i get over this heartache?
3 comments:
There are certain circumstances in life where words are actually very little comfort...where they are actually somewhat ineffective in reaching to the depths of some sorrow or hurt...and the only thing that can ever reach down to those depths to bring any kind of healing and relief..is the holy spirit.
friend, i am praying isaiah 40:26-31 over you.
i know the hoping and praying and believing can be wearisome. but he promises that when we wait for the Lord that He will actually become our strength...and that we will run without becoming weary.
i've seen him do so much in you. i don't doubt that i will be astounded again to see what he does through this.
dearest callie,
your friends are here to encourage you.
i think i mentioned this that day we sat at the brewery and figured out exactly how much you would need to go..ever since this dream of yours became more and more of a reality, i felt like god was going to use this time to help you grow, not only spritually, but also in a more practical way..to teach you to not only chase after, but work for, the desires god puts in your heart.
that's why i thought a loan would be such a great idea, because when you came back, you could really dive into working and budgeting and paying off australia, which is how you would end up maturing more in a practical way (something all people just out of college could benefit from learing), to go along with all your spiritual maturity you would have gained at hillsong.
so, now that the loan didn't work out, i really feel so strongly that it would please god to see his daughter work like she's never worked before to make this dream a reality.
you are so incredibly blessed to have a great home to live in (no rent!), a bachelor's degree and all the time in the world during the week to get a job and make that $15,000.
the whole time neil was talking at church about how his family worked to make their dreams come true, regardless of their financial situation, i thought of you, and how accomplished and blessed you would feel after earning all of that money.
it's a different way to look at things, a new perspective....god may not hand over the $15,000 but he will most definitely give you the strength and determination for the task ahead!
love you and i'm EVER praying for you!
cb
Callie you know I love you so much. It breaks my heart to see yours broken. I've heard it said before, "What you make happen for others, God will make happen for you." A lot of times, it's through serving others and living for others that breakthrough comes. So maybe instead of letting yourself remain broken, let the Lord heal the brokenness through helping others... start praying for the dreams of others! Isaiah 58 is full of promise about this kind of thing :-]
I'm praying the Lord will heal your brokenheart, lovey...
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