lately i've been learning a lot about my relationship with God.. really examining the reasons why i love Him and why i've decided to position my life beneath His will and mercy. and although i sort of already knew this, circumstance is bringing it about in a new light.. and it's coming more into focus.
we serve a God with the ability to make things happen. He can bring change with one word from His lips.. with one touch of His hand.. so in a lot of cases, it comes natural to love God for what he can do. it feels right to be like "wow God! you're so powerful! look what you've done in my life and in the lives of others! no wonder i serve you!" He is a God who loves to dump blessing after blessing on top of our heads.. so much in fact, that it is a very real possibility that one might begin to generate the wrong idea of what a relationship with God is supposed to be like.. at first, in the early stages of a relationship with God, a love that bursts forth as a response to God's goodness is quite acceptable, i think.. but as we grow and mature in the things of God, i also think He prompts us to re-evaluate our feelings about him..
like, for example.. what happens to our affections for him when the honeymoon is over and we have to start working together on figuring out how to pay the bills. a new stage of life brings about a deeper.. more real need for love.. it's like we go from "wow God, you blow my mind with how GOOD you are all the time!" to "God i don't care what it takes or how tired i am.. or how much it breaks me.. i WILL NOT be without you." and we find that our love for him doesn't actually depend on circumstance at all.. and we receive the newsflash that this journey isn't always gonna be all sunshine and sweet tea.
but we've agreed to be in this place we are in, the legally binding contract being His beautiful name scripted upon the tablets of our hearts.. we've said for better or for worse.. and here we are.. right in the middle of worse.. holding onto the promise that every bit is worth it.. and the promise that He won't let us go.. and we learn that this love we have for God runs deep within us. deeper still than the blood coursing through our veins.. maybe even deeper than our bones.. and we learn that His love is a part of who we have become.. and it really is all we need. and some days it is the only thing that keeps us functioning at the most basic level.
Now, i know that life most likely gets harder than not getting to go to australia. but one thing i'm learning is that no matter what happens, i live my life everyday with a God, a friend, a man.. that died so we could be together.. just like this.. right now. and for eternity.. and that really is enough.. everything else is just a bonus.
3 comments:
and BONUS!!!!
I have no idea how I stumbled upon your blog tonight, seeing as how I don't ever follow these things.
Callie, Callie Callie. Man. I got goosebumps reading your posts. I know you've probably heard this a thousand times, but God's timing is never wrong. And if there's one thing I've learned, it's that our will and God's will rarely perfectly coincide. Callie, you have seriously been a huge influence on my life for years now. I've always looked up to you and I never tell you that enough. You're such an amazing person and God obviously has you in the position for a reason that our tiny minds cannot comprehend. As long as you keep walking down this path that God has you on, He's going to open doors in front of you and let you walk into situations and opportunities that you never thought you would be a part of. You've got a spirit and drive about you that is uniquely refreshing and God will use that to comfort and strengthen you and anybody that comes in contact with you.
You're awesome Callie. Don't ever underestimate the power you have as a leader.
Love,
Your little brother.
oh little sister, good grief. pretty sure you're my hero. i love the way you love God. it really is an inspiration to me, and let me just say. I love God a whole lot already. :) it is so inspiring just to watch you go through this process. you understand God's will, and you understand what it is to follow it. if you didn't, you'd be throwing a fit and kicking and screaming about a couple of things right now. and i'd tell on you too. i'm your sister. :) but you're not. i've seen you handle this with nothing but sincere grace and surrender. you're a perfect example of loving and trusting God's sovereignty and i admire that so much. you have so much to teach us all... thanks for having us along for the journey. love you.
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