Thursday, June 16, 2011

all is fair in love and WWII...


(this picture has nothing to do with my post, but i like visual aid)

a few weeks ago i was watching a documentary about WWII on netflix with bronson. It was a compilation of this amazing color footage taken during WWII. The people making the film spent 2 years gathering the film and putting it together. Weaved in and out of these plausible scenes of war were journal entries from men who fought for the US, telling us real stories from the things they were seeing.

One entry that stood out to me when I was watching the documentary was a soldier talking about how the American media had the tendency to glamorize war for the American public. The people sitting at home on their comfy couches eating dinner and watching the evening news only saw pleasant pictures of Strong US soldiers in good morale, mightily going out to conquer the militaries of opposing nations. But that wasn't the image I got when i saw the footage in this documentary. I saw scared soldiers and a lot of death. It makes sense to me that war would look like that. The man who wrote the journal entry said that the soldiers who fought in the war wanted America to know the truth about war, the horror and filth of it all. and that for them, day in and day out, the battle was not glorious. he said they were always "inches away from death at any moment." They didn't always feel strong. And they weren't always winning the fight.

this makes me think about the widely held concept that we as Christ followers, have enlisted to fight in a "battle" against Satan and his angels. We all have our own way of picturing war. usually when I think of battle, i imagine scenes from movies like Lord of the Rings or Braveheart... the glorious scenes right before the battle where the fighters are donning their helmets and holding up their shields, forming a line.. mighty and strong. They look fierce. Ready to fight.. and they definitely don't look tired. And I think when I initially thought about "the good fight".. this is how I saw myself. There is no question about it, it is more inspiring to picture ourselves in this moment when we are getting amped to go out and fight hard for the Righteousness of our Lord. We still have all our strength. We still feel like giving epic speeches and letting out battle cries to rally everyone else around our cause. We haven't lost anything yet. And yet, naturally this is what we want to think of when we think of fighting in our spiritual war.

But I think to maintain this view is to do an injustice to how hard it actually is to hold your head up in the midst of continuous attacks from the enemy. It is much less glamorous to picture ourselves in the middle of a bloody battle, encroached by death on all sides.. trying to make it out of harms way in tact. but THIS is the truth about a battle. THIS is what the true veterans of the fight would want you to know. and THIS is what we were getting into all along. We should not be surprised by loss. We are fighting against an enemy who comes to steal, kill, and destroy.. and don't think for one second that he doesn't know the weaknesses in your armor, because he does. and because i have felt the flames of his arrows lately, i too will tell you that in this battle "we are inces away from death at any moment." Especially if we lose hope. I may just be speaking from my own experiences, but it seems to me like Satan doesn't retreat unless we know how to fight him. And maybe I'm the only one, but sometimes I forget that I carry the power of Jesus Christ in me, and sometimes I cast my eyes downward. I think sometimes I that because I haven't held close to my heart a clear perspective of the battle going on.. i don't always fight back.. or even worse, I forget that I even have to.

there is only ONE thing that can keep us from losing our lives in this blood brawl, and i bet you know what that is. The other morning i was reading in Psalms, and i found myself taking in the truth of the 91st. The entire passage hinges upon whether or not we DWELL in (live inside of) the shadow of the most high... because then, and ONLY THEN are we protected from the attack of death we see all around us.

(here i will add that if you don't see the attack.. i'd like to politely ask you to please, come out of your bubble)

Look at the picture this scripture paints of war:

My Refuge and My Fortress
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked. Because you have made the LORD your dwelling place-- the Most High, who is my refuge-- no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the adder; the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot. "Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation."


in case you missed it, there is a nasty battle scene raging here.. there are arrows of evil plots and slanders of the wicked that fly by day, and deadly disease (pestilence) that stalks in the darkness, and the destruction and sudden death that surprise and lay waste ant noonday. There are thousands falling at the side of the fighter, and ten thousand at his own right hand. but the promise stands that he will be right in the middle of this incredibly horrific scene, and death won't come anywhere near him.. he won't even be afraid. Why? because he is consistently emerging himself in the refuge of the Lord Most High. Because he is unwilling to fix his eyes anywhere else.

Know this: the Lord's refuge is not always (and rarely will be) a safe bunker away from the battle. No. The Lord's refuge and the place we MUST dwell is usually located right in the middle of a bloody, disease ridden, ugly battle that we have been called to fight in. It's not pretty. It's a battle. The enemy is after your joy. He is desparately jealous of your peace. and more than anything.. he wants you trapped in the illusion that the battle is not a bloody one. That nothing should ever have to be hard. Because I can assure you, we are in the midst of an brawl between good and evil.. it's Love vs. hate. and lucky for us, we have access to God and his Love through Jesus Christ. and we can dwell within him by taking on his identity.. and in faith, deflect the advances of the enemy. we can fight back.. but some of us don't. we don't have to be afraid.. but some of us are. we don't have to die.. but some of us do. We don't always have the clearest perspective of the war that's been waged against us in our earthly lives. If we saw the war for what it is, realizing that if we are not dwelling in the Lord's refuge, then we are inches away from death at any moment, how would we greet the day? How would we respond to bad news? How would we disciple? What would we want the people watching us and learning from us to know?

I think this next passage is possibly the most crucial scripture to search out. we have to figure out what this means.... we have to help other people figure out what it means..

The Whole Armor of God
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints...


I need to live my life dwelling in His refuge, wearing His full armor. If I do, I'll be safe. There is a verse in Exodus that says this: "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." I believe with all my heart that this doesn't mean that we don't have fight... i believe it means that we have to learn this: to fight is to figure out how to be still in the shadow of the most high, even when there is a battle raging all around you. We have to learn to be still, quicken our spirits, quiet our souls, and to take heart.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

same ol...


I don't think i've painted my toenails since october.. maybe a touch up every couple of months, but they are still the same color.. yowza. i need a pedicure...

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Monday, May 23, 2011

yellow chair...

Okay, so yesterday I bought a chair that I love so much it's inspired me to get back on the blogging horse and keep riding. haha
After church my friend Becca and I went to lunch at panera and then took a fly-by-seat-of-your-pants trip to a local flea market: BEST DECISION EVER. I recently rearranged, well, my entire house.. but in that process I rearranged my room and realized that i have the perfect place for a reading chair... and WELL! I found the perfect one :)

I can't wait to read wonderful books like this and this while sipping coffee from my favorite coffee cup, every morning :) also, it's the perfect thinking chair. i know this because i tested it out... i sat down for a bit, and had all kinds of great thoughts! haha.. Anyway, i love the bright sunny color.. summertime, right in my room..

before we brought it inside, becca thought it would be a good idea to take a picture in the front yard :)



Thursday, February 17, 2011

don't dare be silent...

hello all... it seems as tho winter is over... and i pray the coming spring is working it's way into your hearts and planting hope in you the way it is in me... i've been thinking a lot lately. and the reason i've been thinking is because the enemy has been launching missiles at me by way of my thought-life... as i'm sure he does with everyone from time to time. but recently for me it's been bad. and i haven't been fighting back.... i've just kind of been going with all the lies he's telling me about how i'm not good at anything i do.. a terrible leader... a terrible daughter.. friend.. etc..... he really doesn't let up if you don't make him. he will tell you ANYTHING to steal your identity from you, because he's so jealous of your standing with the King. so anyway, i've been losing the fight lately, but the battle is in my mind... and if i don't win there, i don't win anywhere else. but what sucks is the devil's so sneaky.. you don't realize he's been pounding you with lies until you're completely miserable and saying things out of your mouth that are so negative you'd bat your friends on the nose with a newspaper for saying it.

thank goodness God is faithful.. and we are over-comers by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony.. this afternoon i had the pleasure of talking with a bright-eyed daughter named claire over coffee, and i got to tell her about all the places i've come from in life... and it stirred up in me a passion to keep going.. to keep fighting the good fight.. to get myself into the secret place and let God be my defender. thank goodness for God-appointed coffee dates ;)

anyway.. that's all i have for you now.. except for the life changing advice to get on itunes and by the A F T E R M A T H album from hills.... do it. just do it.

a little lyrical advice from one of the tunes on that album: "take heart. may His love lead us thru the night. hold onto hope. and take courage again." ... go ahead and do this too... :)

Also, never forget all the places you've come from... for it is telling of those places and pointing to Jesus... that will cause you to overcome... recently our church celebrated it's 10th birthday. and at that celebration we had these massive walls made up of testimonies from the people of the church... and these walls are loud about God and his saving power... we wouldn't dare be silent about our King.



Saturday, February 5, 2011

the thrill...

hey friends...

lately i've been pondering mundane and ordinary living. It seems as though from the time i became a christian, someone was always telling me that I was going to do something amazing for God.. and that he had a huge plan for my life that was going to change the world.. and while this is probably still true, I think when i heard that I took it to mean that because I was serving God, my life would be this exciting and important thing.. and I think that since i was so young in my walk with God, I thought the things I was going to do for the Kingdom would be because of me and my talents.. because God had made me special.. and i was getting that confused with God's ultimate will and HIS glory. However, God has lovingly shown me that just because he has a plan for my life and He will probably use me to do a few things that change eternity for someone else.. doesn't mean that i can escape the trials of ordinary, every-day ins-and-outs of life that the majority of Christ-followers willingly endure throughout their earthly lives.

No matter what I am doing for the Lord.. If i make doing that thing my goal.. and if i'm seeking the excitement of accomplishing that thing... then i will miss out on the gift of salvation: simply seeking to know the Lord; just having Jesus. Jesus gave himself on the cross so that we could know the Him and be with Him.. not so we could live exciting lives doing things for him.

I'm reflecting on these things because I have been serving in the same church for 10 years now. And this is an amazing place to be.. I've always known that. But i guess I've kind of always thought I was meant for bigger things than Conway Arkansas, and that God was going to send me out as soon as possible (i know, so prideful!) But God has so opened my eyes to the blessing that staying put has actually been for me.. Knowing God and His goodness through ordinary and mundane times will prepare me for life's many, many valleys, because we know that we will face trials of many kinds. What a faith-saving lesson. And what is so amazing about God's grace, is that knowing Jesus, no matter if we are chained in a prison, or leading worship on a platform in front of thousands... means that we can bear witness to HIS awesome power.. a power that lives inside of us.. and it is an absolute thrill...

I love this, by the way:

"2 Here's my concern: that you care for God's flock with all the diligence of a shepherd. Not because you have to, but because you want to please God. Not calculating what you can get out of it, but acting spontaneously.[ 3 Not bossily telling others what to do, but tenderly showing them the way. 4 When God, who is the best shepherd of all, comes out in the open with his rule, he'll see that you've done it right and commend you lavishly. 5 And you who are younger must follow your leaders. But all of you, leaders and followers alike, are to be down to earth with each other, for - God has had it with the proud, But takes delight in just plain people. 6 So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. 7 Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you. 8 Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. 9 Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. 10 The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ - eternal and glorious plans they are! - will have you put together and on your feet for good. 11 He gets the last word; yes, he does."

1 Peter 5:2-11 (The Message)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

or forever hold your peace....


Newest obsession: Taylor Swift's new album 'Speak Now'.. I dont know if I can handle the excitement of Taylor Swift and Brooke Fraser both coming out with freaking great new albums in the same month.. these gals need to get together on these kinda things and help me out...

OR WHAT IF:: they got together and wrote music. time out. my mind just exploded.....

pause.......
.........pause....
still getting over it.....

okay, moving on....


so anyway the new Taylor Swift album is really great. I can't stop listening to it.. the other day one of my life group girls set her fb status to say that' taylor swift is the best thing that ever happened to teenage girls.' I have to agree, but i also must add that she is the best thing (besides brooke) that has ever happened to girls... in general. she sings all our anthems of love and hopefulness, and heartache... and she's right on the money.

last night bronson and i sat on the floor of my kitchen and he let me show him all my favorite songs off the album.. and he listened intently to every word.. he's so sweet.. i think i'll keep him :)