a simple song...

this is the song in my heart right now.. the words "all i know is i find rest in You" echo in my spirit.. because a lot of times i feel like i don't know anything about God.. He's so huge. so incomprehensible... and there are so many mysteries in his word to uncover that i can get overwhelmed and feel like i need to lock myself in a room for days and do nothing but read... it's almost a frantic feeling. like "God, there's so much to you.. there's NO WAY that i know you well.." to know God well is my ultimate goal in life... and it seems so lofty... especially since the enemy is constantly doing what he can to get in the way.. also, there's my wicked heart and the thorns in my flesh that i allow to hold me back... and then there's the fact that life is BUSY... especially at NLC.. our church is alive and growing and it takes people and time to keep it going.. i'm committed there.. and i forget about my first commitment.. quite a bit.

over the past couple of days i've been forbidden to get up and move around... i have to stay still or i won't get any better.. (it's the mono) .. mandatory rest. and i'm not good at it.. i like to stay busy.. but since i've had to stay still.. i've been reading a lot.. and God has been calling me into His rest. if there is one aspect of God's character that i am certain of.. it is that he invites us to rest in Him... the invitation is always open.. it's amazing how often we decline..

thank you Jesus that you always offer rest...

Your faithfullness endures always
Where mountains fall and reason fails
And You calm the raging seas
And You calm the storms in me, again

All I know is I find rest in You
All I know is I find rest in You

My heart will praise throughout the night
Where singing seems a sacrifice

And You calm the raging seas
And You calm the storms in me, again

All I know is I find rest in You
All I know is I find rest in You

Your grace is all I need
Your grace is all I need

oh my happy heart...

Saturday my bff greta (rebecca) took me on a walk around the block to take pictures of everything beautiful that's been springing up lately.. and of course... the mono made it challenging.. and the picture below probably makes it look like i died on our short voyage.. but alas, i was just getting a picture... i'm blessed to live in such a beautiful place :)

claiming things..

as i previously mentioned.. i love spring. at this point i'll also mention that tuesday i found out i have mono. that's right... the life ruining 6-weeks of nothing but sleep and more sleep. only to wake up and still be sleepy. maybe that sounds a bit dramatic? probably. all i know is i'm tired of not feeling good.. i mean. for crying out loud.. the daffodils are blooming and i'm stuck inside too tired to do anything.. blah..

i really feel like this sickness is more than just a sickness.. i know it's the enemy trying to keep me from being effective. when i don't feel good (which is most of the time) i use it as a reason to not pray or get into the word very much.. or even to just have a defeated posture.. and until recently i haven't been fighting back.. i just lay there and kind of accept the situation.. now granted, physical weakness is part of mono.. and is a little bit more difficult to fight.. since all i feel like doing is sleeping and i'm not strong enough to do much else.. BUT, my attitude on the other hand.. i feel like IS something i can fight to change for the better.. and that has a lot to do with faith...

i have to believe that God is healing me.. even when there is no evidence of it.. i have to know that there's more going on than meets the eye.. the Word of God says that our battles are not against flesh and blood.. right now i'm battling a sickness.. but i'm not going to let that sickness give the enemy a foothold with me.. and my body may be weak.. but my spirit can be strong.. my spirit doesn't have to grow weary...

i've been praying God's word over my body. I recently ordered a book off of amazon called "praying God's word" by Beth Moore.. It's a book about praying God's Word over your life to break free from strongholds... she takes scriptures and turns them into prayers that we can speak over ourselves to change the way we live our lives.. and there isn't a specific chapter about sickness.. but there is one about despair.. which is applicable to my situation in a lot of ways.. i don't remember ever being sick for more than 3 days.. and i've been feeling sick for about a month now with a headache.. and then strep throat.. and now i find out about mono.. i've just felt like this will never end.. and i need my mind to be renewed because we are transformed by the renewing of our minds.. so i've been praying God's word... prayer and God's word are the only agressive weapons we have against the one who steals, kills, and destroys what is intended for the ones who love Jesus: life to the fullest.

Today I prayed this one:

"Merciful Lord, restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." psalm 51:12

I need that willing spirit.. i claim it today..

finally...

I love Spring.. I love how it fills me with the urge to enjoy my life... and i definitely love this verse. feel free to live your life this way today.. and everyday :)

Ecclesiastes 9:7
Seize life! Eat bread with gusto, Drink wine with a robust heart. Oh yes—God takes pleasure in your pleasure! Dress festively every morning. Don't skimp on colors and scarves. Relish life with the spouse you love Each and every day of your precarious life. Each day is God's gift. It's all you get in exchange For the hard work of staying alive. Make the most of each one! Whatever turns up, grab it and do it. And heartily! This is your last and only chance at it, For there's neither work to do nor thoughts to think In the company of the dead, where you're most certainly headed.