or forever hold your peace....

Newest obsession: Taylor Swift's new album 'Speak Now'.. I dont know if I can handle the excitement of Taylor Swift and Brooke Fraser both coming out with freaking great new albums in the same month.. these gals need to get together on these kinda things and help me out...

OR WHAT IF:: they got together and wrote music. time out. my mind just exploded.....

pause.......
.........pause....
still getting over it.....

okay, moving on....


so anyway the new Taylor Swift album is really great. I can't stop listening to it.. the other day one of my life group girls set her fb status to say that' taylor swift is the best thing that ever happened to teenage girls.' I have to agree, but i also must add that she is the best thing (besides brooke) that has ever happened to girls... in general. she sings all our anthems of love and hopefulness, and heartache... and she's right on the money.

last night bronson and i sat on the floor of my kitchen and he let me show him all my favorite songs off the album.. and he listened intently to every word.. he's so sweet.. i think i'll keep him :)

the great outdoors...

I went camping this weekend... i hadn't been camping in something like 4 years.. That's too long a time if you ask me. It rained a little.. but mainly, i loved it. Some pics for ya:

sunday...

Wellll, since i let you in on my saturday, i'll give you a peak at my sunday as well.. it was a glorious fall celebration.. i woke up and rode my bike to the coffee shop downtown.. for the duration of the 10-minute voyage i had brookie's flags blaring in my ears and i sang with her, joyful and triumphant, the whole way there.. which i think is appropriate for an adorable music video..

later on i went to NLC and got to be part of worship for the 5pm service and elevation. life is a blessing :)

saturday...

Today I've watched 3 episodes of gilmore girls and painted my toe nails...



also, there's something in the water...

kiss your life...

Last December me and two of my favorite friends took a trip to columbus OH.. we did some looking around in a really artsy part of town called the short north. among our many wanderings in and out of the old buildings in the short north, matty took us pondering through an adorable little paper shop.. and thank goodness, because it was here that we discovered some of the best advice that can be given. on tiny pieces of off-white paper, bits of wisdom have been etched in ink by the handy work of a typewriter.. i of course took pictures...

yesterday i came across this one as i was browsing thru my pictures.. as i often do... and i want to share it with you..






"You're blessed when you're content with
just who you are no more, no less. That's the
moment you find yourselves proud owners
of everything that can't be bought."

Matthew 5:4 TM

woman: the new has come

This past weekend New Life Church had a Women's Conference. It was the kind of thing that changes the way people live their lives.. Precilla Shirer spoke an encouraging word over the women of our church. A word that helps us know that God wants us to stop wishing and wishing that we could hurry up and move on to the next phase of our lives, whether it be leaving singleness to be in a relationship.. or rushing past the dating years to get married.. or wishing that we could go ahead and arrive and shine in the calling God has placed on our lives. We can't keep up the habit of constantly wishing the present away, never satisfied because we think one day we'll wake up and our lives will look like what we always thought they would. No, we have to embrace our season. We have to invest our hearts wherever we are.. at whatever phase of life in which we currently reside. God has rest for us NOW. God has a plan for us NOW. Exactly where we are. As long as we are loving God and Serving faithfully with whatever we have in our hands at the moment, we are walking in God's perfect will for our lives. The new has already come.

some pictures from the conference after party....

hope..

my best friend becca and i have been leading a life group of amazing high school girls. girls who have real hearts and real problems.. and need a real Jesus. being a part of this wonderful group of young women has changed the way i view leading worship. getting to know my girls helps me know who is out there in the crowd i'm trying coax into the presence of God on a week to week basis. it makes so much sense to me why not everyone is ready to abandon themselves to the saving grace of Jesus the second the first note is played.. or even by the final song for that matter. there are people out there who don't really feel like worshiping... maybe they don't know if their dad even loves them.. and they can't trust their mom with the secret details of their lives because she's too judgmental.. and they have friends that would throw them under the bus at any given moment if the opportunity to look cool in front of other people presented itself... these kids can count on so little. their confidence is rickety.. and their passions are fragile. their foundations are constantly being shaken... it's not fair.. injustice can put a serious damper on someone's ability to believe in freedom...and honestly, it sucks. but, now that i have a better grasp on the heart-condition of the ppl i'm leading.. i feel like God has put something in my heart that desires EVEN MORE for them to get into the healing presence of God.. it's so important that they know Jesus. and leading worship, or being a lead worshipper, means figuring out how to help them know God sees them.. and that he offers them hope...

happy me...

it seems as tho i've fallen off the face of the blogging earth.. I'm going to try to hoist myself back up..

soo... what have i been doing lately?

well.. for those wondering, i've been hanging out with my beautiful, funny, smart, awesome spectacular, singing, dancing, guitar playing, skinny-jean-wearing, Harry Potter-loving boyfriend. meet bronson chambers duke II:

oh... and we love each other... ♥

in line at panera bread...

i realized something while i was in line at panera bread the other day... if we fix our eyes on anything but Jesus, we will be completely miserable. i know this because i am oh-so-human.. and i fix my eyes on the wrong things all the time. i look to people.. or dreams of what could be.. and i think "if this thing works out... i'll be the happiest girl alive.." and for awhile i'll be motivated and excited by whatever it is.. and even able to produce a sort of faux-contentedness that way.. but it does not sustain me. i feel like i'm always waiting for something that never comes..

but seriously.. i was just standing there in line at panera, running over the details of my life in its current state.. and longing for things to be different.. and it hit me at that moment that i was doing my best to tuck away an underlying miserable feeling that seemed to persist.. it makes me think of the line in that john foreman song "You Lord, are God of the present tense." The present tense. The here and now. If He is who he says he is.. then He is enough for now. And when i can humble myself enough to remember that.. I'm totally satisfied. i remember that whatever it is in my life that i think should change.. but it isn't changing.. i can actually view as my cross to bear.. and endure it for the Joy set before me...

it is in those rare moments, when the being whom i was created to know and be known by steals my attention away from every other trivial thing that somehow has me in a daze... that i am completely aware that i've been distracted. but that's me.. i'm easily distracted and prone to wander.. i am unfaithful and a my heart is wicked.... but God is still fighting for my love... grace is the best thing that ever happened to me...

the 90's called...

i had what some might consider to be a rough day yesterday... so i did what any normal healthy girl in her twenties would do... i went shopping. and i feel it necessary to bring this up.. who would have thought that the 90s would come back into style? and with such gusto?? OR that i would like it so much... if you would have asked me a couple years ago if i thought any trends from the 90's were salvageable.. i would have said no way. but i would have been wrong.. i bought this ruffeld skirt yesterday and wore it today to work with a tucked in white tank top and a tan cardigan.. it looks like material from one of my easter dresses when i was in pre-school.. and i'm pretty sure i haven't tucked in my shirt since 4th grade.. and let me tell you. that's when i was wearing no-no's such as all denim outfits and kelly kapowski bangs... high wasted jean shorts with a white tucked-in t-shirt.. topped off with a jean vest.. and not like a cool kind of vest... more like a jean jacket minus the sleeves.. like maybe invision a vest your mom might have worn when you were 10. i should probably add that i wasn't very fashion-savvy in the 90s.. which is why i'm thrilled to get a second shot at it.. enter:: my two new mini skirts and all the flower print dresses i've gotten for spring. the skirt featured below is pretty adorable. i, of course, wear it with tights because i'm not a skeez... this is just one of many items i've purchased that help me look similar to lisa turtle or blossom. thankyou forever21.. for helping the fashion dreams of my youth come true..

a simple song...

this is the song in my heart right now.. the words "all i know is i find rest in You" echo in my spirit.. because a lot of times i feel like i don't know anything about God.. He's so huge. so incomprehensible... and there are so many mysteries in his word to uncover that i can get overwhelmed and feel like i need to lock myself in a room for days and do nothing but read... it's almost a frantic feeling. like "God, there's so much to you.. there's NO WAY that i know you well.." to know God well is my ultimate goal in life... and it seems so lofty... especially since the enemy is constantly doing what he can to get in the way.. also, there's my wicked heart and the thorns in my flesh that i allow to hold me back... and then there's the fact that life is BUSY... especially at NLC.. our church is alive and growing and it takes people and time to keep it going.. i'm committed there.. and i forget about my first commitment.. quite a bit.

over the past couple of days i've been forbidden to get up and move around... i have to stay still or i won't get any better.. (it's the mono) .. mandatory rest. and i'm not good at it.. i like to stay busy.. but since i've had to stay still.. i've been reading a lot.. and God has been calling me into His rest. if there is one aspect of God's character that i am certain of.. it is that he invites us to rest in Him... the invitation is always open.. it's amazing how often we decline..

thank you Jesus that you always offer rest...

Your faithfullness endures always
Where mountains fall and reason fails
And You calm the raging seas
And You calm the storms in me, again

All I know is I find rest in You
All I know is I find rest in You

My heart will praise throughout the night
Where singing seems a sacrifice

And You calm the raging seas
And You calm the storms in me, again

All I know is I find rest in You
All I know is I find rest in You

Your grace is all I need
Your grace is all I need

oh my happy heart...

Saturday my bff greta (rebecca) took me on a walk around the block to take pictures of everything beautiful that's been springing up lately.. and of course... the mono made it challenging.. and the picture below probably makes it look like i died on our short voyage.. but alas, i was just getting a picture... i'm blessed to live in such a beautiful place :)

claiming things..

as i previously mentioned.. i love spring. at this point i'll also mention that tuesday i found out i have mono. that's right... the life ruining 6-weeks of nothing but sleep and more sleep. only to wake up and still be sleepy. maybe that sounds a bit dramatic? probably. all i know is i'm tired of not feeling good.. i mean. for crying out loud.. the daffodils are blooming and i'm stuck inside too tired to do anything.. blah..

i really feel like this sickness is more than just a sickness.. i know it's the enemy trying to keep me from being effective. when i don't feel good (which is most of the time) i use it as a reason to not pray or get into the word very much.. or even to just have a defeated posture.. and until recently i haven't been fighting back.. i just lay there and kind of accept the situation.. now granted, physical weakness is part of mono.. and is a little bit more difficult to fight.. since all i feel like doing is sleeping and i'm not strong enough to do much else.. BUT, my attitude on the other hand.. i feel like IS something i can fight to change for the better.. and that has a lot to do with faith...

i have to believe that God is healing me.. even when there is no evidence of it.. i have to know that there's more going on than meets the eye.. the Word of God says that our battles are not against flesh and blood.. right now i'm battling a sickness.. but i'm not going to let that sickness give the enemy a foothold with me.. and my body may be weak.. but my spirit can be strong.. my spirit doesn't have to grow weary...

i've been praying God's word over my body. I recently ordered a book off of amazon called "praying God's word" by Beth Moore.. It's a book about praying God's Word over your life to break free from strongholds... she takes scriptures and turns them into prayers that we can speak over ourselves to change the way we live our lives.. and there isn't a specific chapter about sickness.. but there is one about despair.. which is applicable to my situation in a lot of ways.. i don't remember ever being sick for more than 3 days.. and i've been feeling sick for about a month now with a headache.. and then strep throat.. and now i find out about mono.. i've just felt like this will never end.. and i need my mind to be renewed because we are transformed by the renewing of our minds.. so i've been praying God's word... prayer and God's word are the only agressive weapons we have against the one who steals, kills, and destroys what is intended for the ones who love Jesus: life to the fullest.

Today I prayed this one:

"Merciful Lord, restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." psalm 51:12

I need that willing spirit.. i claim it today..

finally...

I love Spring.. I love how it fills me with the urge to enjoy my life... and i definitely love this verse. feel free to live your life this way today.. and everyday :)

Ecclesiastes 9:7
Seize life! Eat bread with gusto, Drink wine with a robust heart. Oh yes—God takes pleasure in your pleasure! Dress festively every morning. Don't skimp on colors and scarves. Relish life with the spouse you love Each and every day of your precarious life. Each day is God's gift. It's all you get in exchange For the hard work of staying alive. Make the most of each one! Whatever turns up, grab it and do it. And heartily! This is your last and only chance at it, For there's neither work to do nor thoughts to think In the company of the dead, where you're most certainly headed.