sometimes i find things i've written.. desperate pleas to God.. to not let me forget Him.. and the things i've come to know about Him... i've begged him to engrain who he is into my memory.. and cause me to remember His goodness and love.. and let that stir up a passion in me.. and it's cool because when i go back and read what i've written.. i remember the condition of my heart when i wrote that entry.. and God moves in me. again.
when I was in australia last month.. God woke me up eeaaarrrly.. (maybe a little too early.. haha) with a fresh vision for what he wants my ministry to look like... and i couldn't write it down fast enough.. and i hadn't read it again until tonight.. but re-reading it helped me to refocus.. and re-fix my eyes on my beautiful Jesus... my author and finisher... because we all know it's totally possible to become distracted from even the deepest desires of our hearts... and we need to be reminded that at the very core of who we are.. Jesus is our deepest desire.. when we don't allow him to hold that place in our lives.. all kinds of chaos and confusion can arise.. anyway, i'm well aware of how prone to wandering i am... so i'm constantly asking God to help me remember truth... anyway, i'll share:
"Lord God, you've woken me up this morning with a fresh desire to be ready. To be ready at any moment to encourage people with your Word and to declare truth over their lives. I do pray that you would seal that right now inside of my heart and inside of my will... that my primary ministry would arise from being ready to encourage people towards believing in you for things that seem impossible. God keep fresh words from your spirit on my lips and let them come forth from my heart.. from Christ in me. And Lord let what you do in and through me spread to everyone near me. Lord may I become used to this. May it become something normal in my life to be a light house of truth in dark places. Solidify this new thing in me. Oh Lord, thank you so much for a fresh passion.. please keep it alive.. and keep adding life to the fire... stir it up in me so much that if i don't share what you put in my heart with others i cannot even sleep. thank you for new dreams. fresh vision. and a renewed desire to know you intimately. Oh Lord, please hold these things in my heart. do not let me go back to sleep. I love you so much. Change me so that i might make an impact for you."
sometimes when i write to the Lord.. i can tell he's responding to me.. so i write down what he says.. this is what he said to me that morning:
---> "Oh my precious girl.. i've been waiting to wake you up with newness. you are such a light already. let me make you stronger. come to me with every weakness you have. i will lift you up. i will strengthen your heart. i will love you in such a way that it rocks the nations. let me surprise you. let me come through for you. let me have the chance to blow you away with my heart for you. wait on me, child. you won't have to wait much longer. i see your desires. they ache in my chest as well.. the time is coming when we will both be satisfied in regard to the cravings of your spirit. walk with me in love."
How beautiful is that? what a beautiful God.... i can't imagine loving anyone more... nobody else says beautiful things to me like that. he is absolutely my only real delight... and the only one who satisfies...
He is real.. He is alive.. He speaks.. He loves.. He listens.. He reminds..... He is always good.. and he never leaves... or changes his mind...
[resting]
... an australian sunset... because you needed to see it :)
